He says, She says.

Hello again. I've literally only just decided to bash out this blog after seeing something on the BBC News website. It's only going to be short because I only really have one point to make, so you'll just have to make do.

Apparently some 13 year old kid from America has climbed Mount Everest... What a massive show off.

I'm sure he's not, but in my head I can't help but imagine him to be one of those kids in school who's good at everything, and that naturally, the people who aren't good at everything think he's a colossal bellend. Like I say though, he's probably a nice, modest guy, who just so happens to climb massive mountains for the hell of it.

One thing that made me laugh my little cotton socks off, was the way it's reported on the BBC's website. It reads:

"A 13-year-old American boy has become the youngest person to reach the summit of Mount Everest, his family says.

Jordan Romero, from California, telephoned his mother from the peak of the world's highest mountain, she said."

His family says? It's almost as though the BBC doesn't believe them, I don't think I would either to be honest. If they had any confidence in him, it would surely say "it has been confirmed" or something along those lines... right? The way it is just makes it seem like it's all made up.

I'm waiting for my family to ring BBC Headquarters with news about me.

"A 20 year old boy has walked a tightrope across the Grand Canyon wearing high heel shoes whilst on fire as a way of celebrating the discovery of his ability to poo £50 notes, his family SAYS"

Phwoar, imagine the paper cuts, but on a positive note; imagine being able to say that you'd done a 50 pound poo... Better still, imagine the pooblicity!

I'll stop now...

The second block of text is what I have issues with. At the very end it says "she said" but the rest of the text doesn't really fit in with something that his Mum will have said... Unless she always refers to her son by his full name, and were he's from as well as referring to herself in the 3rd person.

"Jordan Romero, from California! Your tea's ready!"

I know it all makes sense when you read it the article. I just think that for all the professional reporters milling round the BBC, they could have done a slightly better job.

'ave a word BBC.

Bye.

Motivation

Motivation's the hardest thing to come by when you actually need it to get something done. It's always the way. I'd quite like to meet Sod (or Murphy, depending on your preference) and give them a good hard punch in the spleen for creating that bloody law.

I have a fair few things to hand in over the coming week, then, as far as I know I'm done for Summer, which will hopefully be a nice weight off of my shoulders.

• Today I managed to complete an essay that's been ruining my life for the last 4 or 5 days, and after reading through it, I was actually fairly happy with it. Feel like I might do well with that one.

• Then, I have to complete my digital effects project, which is a full on painstaking process... It's a lot less enjoyable than the finished product may lead you to think it was.

• Then finally I have to finish my website, which is crap. I hate doing it, and I hate the fact that it's a compulsory part of my course.

• Then I have to evaluate the crap that I make in no less than 1500 words.

Simply Stunning.

I seem to have lost any motivation that I had down the back of the settee, and i'll be damned if I have the motivation to look for it.

I honestly don't know were my will to put effort into Uni has gone. I think at the moment it's because it's practically the end of the year, and I just want it to end. The idea that there's a few last hurdles to clear first is about as inviting as a one to one meeting with Louie Spence... The bugger.

And before you write a sternly worded letter, I'm not homophobic, I'm loudpeoplewhodemandtobethecentreofattentionallthetime-phobic... so shut up.

Because it's so close to the end of the year, my friends up here are starting to go home for Summer. It's only been one so far, but that one's enough to leave me feeling pretty bummed out sometimes, which naturally, I don't like. I'll be fine once I'm back home too, but when I'm still up here, and the people who pretty much keep me sane go home, it's horrible.

I've decided to create a Dailybooth account to keep a 'diary' of what I get up to over the Summer. My aim is to write in it everyday... so to have something to write about everyday, I need to do something everyday... Y'get me blud?

With Dailybooth, you need to upload a picture with each post, so I'm obviously going to try and take a picture everyday too... It's probably less exciting to you than it is to me, but whatevz.

It's quite funny too... every post you do gets posted onto a live feed for literally everyone with an account to see, so I've had some comments off absolute strangers... One of which said:

"Oh you're cuuuuuuuuute :)"

So, yeah... go me for being cute...

This blog hasn't been very interesting, or funny for that matter. But I write them for myself, not you, and this time I don't fancy trying to be funny... Complain and I'll throw a TV at you.

T'rah.

Boom.

This blog is nothing to do with anything that goes boom. I just couldn't think of a title. Sorry to get your hopes up.

Anyway! It's been a bloody long time since I last wrote something. My creative juices generally flow better when something's rubbed me the wrong way, but at the moment, that hasn't happened.

I'm almost completely at peace with the world. I have a positive zen. My Chi is positive.

Maybe I should take up Yoga? I did it on Wii fit once, but I really struggle with bending in strange ways, so it was a fairly unpleasant experience.

I'm back in Sunderland now. It's not too bad. The weather's been fairly good, and I'm not actually in Uni that much, so I can't really complain.

We've started going to the cinema every Tuesday, which I think is really good. It means I can spend time with my favourite people (no matter how much they bully me... nob'eads.) But it's also a good chance to go and see some good films with relatively little hassle, because the Pictures are just down the road.

I rarely go to the pictures back home, just because of the effort involved. It's not hard to get to, it's just jumping on the train for 10 minutes to Aintree, but that's more effort than it is up here. I only have to walk for 10 minutes and I'm there.

It's really cheap up here too. On a Tuesday it's £2.95 for any film. Well done Sunderland, you've done something right.

__________________________________________________________________

Ok, so it's a couple of hours since I wrote the above writing, and I've been told that it's a rubbish blog. Not funny or anything. So as a means of keeping everyone happy (I'm all about that kind of thing, being a swell guy and all that) I've decided to have a birrof a grumble.

This time it's going to be about adverts. Not like "OMG Dese advertz av cum on wile I wotsh mi filmz so dey iz interrupting innit' It's going to be about the content of 3 adverts that I regularly voice my disapproval of. It probably gets boring for anybody who regularly watches TV with me, but until something's done about these televised monstrosities, I'm not going to shut up.

ADVERT NUMBER 1

I'm going to start with the one that makes me the angriest, which is this one:

Now, you may wonder what my problem is, so I'll list them, before inevitably exploding as a direct result of severe prolonged irritation.

So yeah... My first problem is DANNII BLOODY MINOGUE. She first crops up at about 5 seconds with some old bint and some skinny bint. Look at her and tell me that you honestly don't want to throw sharp things at her. You can't, can you? I'm pretty sure not even Mummy Minogue could love that Vinyl Hockey Mask of a face.

She appears again at about 12 seconds with her face looking like her surgeon pumped about a litre too much botox into her already motionless face. It makes me want to climb into the TV and beat her to death with that life ring that she's using to frame her ugly mug.

I feel a bit bad for shouting about her though really... It's not her fault she's the crap member of her family.

My second problem with this advert is that sodding walk that they insist on doing. You get a good look at it at 31 seconds. It looks like they've all borrowed a leg off someone about a foot taller than them, resulting in them doing this bouncy walk.

I think it's meant to signify 'attitude' or something... To me, it just signifies Iwanttobattereverysingleoneofthemtitude... AMIRITE?

Oh look, there's Dannii Minogue being a bellend wearing a trilby... What an insufferable moron.

My Third problem is the music... I just don't like it.

ADVERT NUMBER 2

I can't find a video for this one, so I'll just have to hope you've seen it and understand what I'm talking about.

It's the advert for Santander Bank, I think. And it involves some fella riding round on a bike made out of Lego. Whilst he cycles round, he sees various other things made out of lego. There's a lot of stuff going on in the advert, but my only real problem is the bit in which the kid sees a group of people moving a settee made of Lego into a house... *takes a deep breath*

The people are clearly struggling! It's fair enough, settee's are generally quite large, and doors are generally quite tall and thin, but the thing is guys... THE SOFA IS MADE OF LEGO!

It doesn't take a genius to work out that you should have taken the box with all the individual Lego bricks to the spec that you wanted the sofa to be, then build it from scratch! It would have saved a hell of a time.

Banks are meant to be filled with clever people who know the best way to do money stuff... If Santander are a bit too dim to realise the shortcomings of their Lego Metaphor, I'm not sure people should trust them with their money.

Go to Halifax instead... They have a singing, dancing man from Birmingham.

ADVERT NUMBER 3

My final rage inducing clip is Dis 1 yo:

I have a massive problem with adverts that show foreign people talking to each other in English. If you're going for a concept that has no fantasy aspect to it, why don't you just go all out and have English people talking to each other? It's less annoying, I know that much.

I'm aware that Petit Filous is French, which explains the need for French kids... But for the love of God, just put subtitles. It's probably easier than beating the kids into speaking broken English (Because that's clearly how it works)

My final problem is the little kid kissing the other little kid to solve her problem of having no Yoghurt. For one, it's a bad influence on little kids. They're going to grow up thinking that if they ever have a problem, they can solve it by kissing any old Tom, Dick or Harry... That's how people like Jordan became famous.

My other problem with the kiss is that the lad clearly had no Yoghurt on his lips, he was actually a fairly neat eater for a 5 year old, or however old he was, so in doing so, the little girl gained nothing, except for maybe an unhealthy reputation of being a bit of a town bike.

I can see it now:

"Sacre Bleus Francois! I've heard she'll get off with you for a pot of Petit Filous!"

"Yeah? I wonder how far she'll go for a Petit Filous and a Mars Bar..."

Ok, so I'm at the end of my patience now. Trying to think of all my gripes with adverts is pretty difficult. Hopefully I've made this post a bit more interesting for those who moaned about the shorter version... If it hasn't, Go away, I don't know what more you want from me.

In a bit.