A Tribute...

First of all. I have 5 followers, one of which, I've never met before, which is cool. So, Hello! Thanks for following :)

On a more serious note, on Tuesday the 22nd of December, at 9pm in Fazakerley Hospital, My Grandad passed away.

It was something that had been coming for a long time, him having been diagnosed with Alzheimer's 4 years ago. So in a way, it softened the blow and made things a little bit easier for everybody, but obviously, it's never easy enough.

My whole family (especially my Mum, Grandma and Uncles) are at the stage where almost everything they've said in the last few days is about him, and the way he was. The kind of things he used to say have been passed down through the years and I doubt you'd go a day without saying something that could be traced back to him.

A lot of people will tell you that I have a really 'bad' sense of humour, based around Puns and strange little sayings, but I'm glad I do. It's almost exclusively a result of my Grandad.

I've been told that the Church is going to be absolutely packed for his Funeral, simply because of the amount of people he knew through the various things he did.

I don't think you'll find a single house in the Merseyside area that he hasn't done some kind of work on. Then, in his later life he became a Eucharistic Minister, which is something he was totally devoted to.

If anybody deserves a place in Heaven, it's him.

Here's to you Grandad Jim.

R.I.P. x

Ha'way I'm Gannin' doon to Durham like pet.

I went to Durham on Monday night. It's a stupidly nice place.

I felt kind of bad that I only really went to have a night out. I feel like it deserved more attention from me, like I should have stayed longer and seen more of it, Especially the Cathedral and Castle, they're mega impressive.

I reckon after Christmas I might actually just have a day trip there to see the sights, and not just get pissed.

Loveshack is boss though, If you're gonna get pissed, you should go there.

When I was in the editing room today at Uni, I started to play around 'Garage band' on the Macs. I'd seen it a few times, but had never actually given it a go, so I decided to have a play.

It's really cool. You can record loads of different tracks, and play a Midi Piano using the keyboard, so you can actually play in real time. It has ooooodles of different sounds as well, so you can create whole songs. Sweet as a Nut la.

So I started wondering if there's an alternative product for Windows that basically lets you do the same thing. Yeahhhh... There's not.

A lot of things claim to be exactly the same and stuff, but they're really, really not.

One programme that was recommended was something called Magix Music Maker. I'd already downloaded loads of free trials of other programmes, so I couldn't be arsed downloading another one.

I did a quick search for a tutorial video instead, and came across this absolute ballbag.

His name's Benjamin and he'll probably seduce your kids.

It's annoying that all these programmes basically work around pre made tracks... so you literally just put them in order and play them back... Where's the fun in that?

I like Macs, but they should get off their high horse and let Garageband work on Windows...Or for Windows to stop being rubbish and make a programme that is exactly the same. For creativity's sake.

Apparently they had one in the works, but for some reason, nothing ever came of it... Instead, Bill Gates, the King of the Nerds just wastes time hiring these absolute melvins to say that the new operating system 'Windows 7' was their idea.

No it wasn't you absolute jebends, you're actors... Not very good ones at that.

Nerdy people make me giggle. If they're not flying round a virtual world pretending to be a dragon or something, they're going to Presentations by Steve Jobs then cheering and laughing when he says words like "iPod" and "Phone."

Check out 2:30 onwards... That's when the audience really lose their minds and start to reach for their inhalers.

It makes me wonder if they would do the same if he was making a butty.

"Bread" *Woop*

"Butter" *Woop*

"Cheese!" *Woop*

He mentions that it's a revolutionary mobile phone, but honestly, I don't see how the Mobile can advance any further than it has done... They're mobile... and you can call your Mum on it.

What more can be done?

Tell ya what, Stevie boy. Stick a time machine and a toastie maker on it, and then I'll sit and watch your Presentation with the same level excitement as the fellas in the video.

For the iPhone, there's an advert that states that you can get an application that can help you learn the Alphabet. Now, I'm no expert, but I'm pretty sure that if you don't know the Alphabet, the chances of you being able to use an iPhone are slim to none. Am I Right?

The only people who are in the position to need to learn the Alphabet are little kids between the age of about 2 and 3... and if they actually own an iPhone... Well, that's just bad parenting on the part of... Well, their Parents... Believe it or not.

In other news, we finally finished our film for our Uni production... We had some serious problems, and needed to refilm, so guess who stepped up to the plate... Yup! Li'l ol' me.

I don't like acting... If you could call it that.

That is all.

If anyone...

Ever tells you that making a film is an easy process. Give 'em a good hard punch in the head and tell them Si sent you.

My dearest Mother shouted at me over the phone the other day because she's had a look at this blog, and apparently I'm "too negative." I can sort of see where she's coming from.

A lot of my blogging is done because something's annoyed me, and I find it therapeutic to have a little rant about it. It's rarely an actual, full on rant though, I like to think that I'm going about it a light hearted way, as shown by my use of bad jokes and various other 'comic' devices. I'm very rarely funny through writing... But at least I try... Right?

But yeah, The amount of rants that I actually have in this blog outweigh the posts where I'm generally just talking about my life and stuff... so I can see why my Mum might think I have a bleak outlook on life...

But I don't!

I love my life. I have no problems that actually make me unhappy. Sure, the whole situation with this film I'm making for one of my Modules is a bit of a ball ache, but it doesn't actually get me down, because I know that the chances of it working out just fine, and getting a product I'm actually proud of, are pretty high.

Everything else is freakin' dandy.

I honestly, really love my life.

I just like to have a bit of a rant from time to time so that I don't get all full of annoyances until I eventually lose my mind and start walking along motorway embankments, warning Hedgehogs that they'll come to a sticky end if they don't remember to use the Green Cross Code.

So yeah. I'm happy... I'd be even happier if I was a Youtube celebrity... But until that happens...I'm sorted.

Happy Mum? :)

Argh, My eyes...

I'm back in the David Goldman building having my senses raped by the sheer ridiculousness of the god forsaken place. There's also a guy sitting near me with a really annoying voice... kind of a mixture between Frank Spencer and any given member of any given London based hip hop group.

I wish I didn't have to keep coming here to kill some time between lectures, but since the actual Library got better computers, for some reason the number of them has gone down by about half, so your about as likely to get on one as Michael Owen is to be given a hero's welcome at Anfield.

I could just walk home and come back when it's actually time for my 5 o' clock Lecture, but it's just so tedious, and I'd only be bored when I got home...

Anyway... I'm rambling.

Don't you just hate those desks that have an inexpicable metal bar at about knee height?

I'm sitting at one as we speak... As I got here, I pushed my self under eagerly, because I was just so excited to write when both my knees connected with the bar at approximately 400mph.

I'm now I'm in pain.

Right then! Because the start of a brand new year is fast approaching, I decided that I should start some kind of project that'll hopefully turn me into to be a Youtube celebrity, and we all know how much I want to be one of them (see previous posts for details).

I know it's been done before, probably hundreds of times, but I'm going to take a picture of myself every day for a year and then compile them into a video slideshow at the end of the 365 days. It's completely pointless, and I gain literally nothing from it, but once again, it's just one of those things that helps to make life a little bit more fun, even if it is only for me.

I might even get prettier over the course of the year. If that happens, I'm going try and pin point the exact picture when I become an absolute God to women.

The good thing is, it'll take literally 10 seconds a day, so i'd have to be a proper lazy bastard to lose motivation. And I honestly think it's an interesting little experiment.

I'm also going to try and be more creative next year too. I used to be crazy into stop frame animation, and have still got some of my best work up on my Youtube page, but nowadays I can't really think of anything to animate, so I don't really do it anymore... Which is pretty devastating. All I do now a days is sit on my bed and refresh Facebook and Twitter and stuff... My life is boss.

I don't usually make New Years resolutions, mainly because I never make an effort to keep them, but I think 2010 should be different, I'm going to make a few and put loads of effort into keeping them. Hopefully they'll have a positive effect on my everyday life, which can never be a bad thing, can it?

So here goes, In no particular order:

1. Don't Die.
2. Take a picture of myself everyday for the duration of the year.
3. Stop taking the piss out of Sunderland, and have a more positive outlook on it.
4. Start, or join a band that actually plays gigs 'n stuff.
5. Get back into stop motion animation.
6. Stay healthy.
7. Moan less.

I'll probably add more as I think of them, But I'd say 7 is enough for now.

Anyway, that's all from me for now, I'll leave you with Sir Mark of Knopfler being a genius.

Auf Wiederschnitzel.

This one really is short.

I mean really short.

If you ever, ever call where you're from: 'Something-Vegas' I am going to hunt you down and shoot you in the eye with a cross bow.

That is all.

Holy...

2 posts in 2 days Batman!

This one's not going to be very long. But I felt the need to have a ponder about those foods that just aren't worth the effort.

The one that really gets my boxers in a bunch, is Spaghetti.

I don't know what Luigi or Gianfranco or any other stereotypical Italian name you can think of where thinking when they decided they'd create a type of pasta that actually makes you angry.

First of all, it comes in sticks about a mile long, so instead of just chucking it into the pan, you have to wait for it to go floppy and bend it gradually until it all fits... That's 3 or 4 minutes I'm never going to get back! I could have used that time to do something productive like watching about 10 episodes of 'Purple and Brown,' or clips of the Swedish Chef for God's sake!

(You'll notice, if you click on the Swedish Chef link... Spaghetti is involved... I'm not just a pretty face, I think you'll find.)

So yeah... when it's all cooked and whatnot, you have to drain it. That's fair enough, but because it's a stupid shape, and it's all thin and stuff, it manages to escape through the holes in the Colander... which is seriously annoying, because it gets stuck in the plug and goes all scatty and slimy.

Everyone knows what happens when you try to eat the stuff... It goes literally everywhere. It collects whatever you've decided to mix it with, and moves it onto your face, and makes you make this horrible slurpy noises that the world would be better off without.

When I was doing some 'research' for this little blogette... I came across this...

I don't care what anyone says... It is physically impossible to eat Spaghetti without looking stupid, or putting someone else off their food. My Grandad tried to teach me the way years and years ago, and I still come away looking like this guy:

What Luigi and Gianfranco need to realise is: 'If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it'

Stick to making Pasta Bow Ties, and make the world a much better place.

Ciao.

Thoughts from the David Goldman building.

Seriously, whoever designed this building needs an absolute slap. I bet that Sunderland Uni approached a mackem tramp chosen at random, handed him a Gregg's Steak Bake and a Pencil and asked him to design the most ridiculous building imaginable. The tramp probably accepted the challenge and set about drawing. After that he probably offered to design the Uni's webspace for them, and the Uni probably accepted... It really is Piss Poor.

The place is a Bat's worst nightmare. It has no parallel lines, so echoes bounce round for about a year before they finally get back to where they came from It's ridiculous, every wall sort of heads inwards, causing some kind of horrible bottleneck designed to trap students whilst they desperately try to get to their lectures. It honestly looks like it's been designed using one of those bendy rulers and a Spirograph (Don't even pretend you don't remember those beasty things)

Some of the classroom walls aren't even finished, they reach about three quarters of the way up the room, and then stop. So, should you be unlucky enough to have a lesson in them, you can hear everything that's going on in the 'Library' section, which you'd think would be pretty quiet, but it's not. The whole place has one of those Swimming bath-esque echoes, You know the type. It's like a constant wall of faint noise, but every now and then someone's voice will cut through then disappear as quickly as it arrived. You half expect to hear the sound of someone diving in, or the sound of a lifeguard or something... It's very weird. I kid you not, sometimes I have to double check that i'm wearing clothes and that I haven't just turned up wearing some speedos... Ok... That's not true.

Anyway, I'm just going to say that The David Goldman Building is a personification of the people of Sunderland: Warm, Funny and Very Quirky... Wait... that's not true either... Scratch that, I'll change it to: Funny Looking, Inexplicable and Very Unpleasant.

Right then, that's my Obligatory crack at Sunderland out of the way... Next up... Certain people, whose names I won't mention because I'm scared of confrontation in the real world.

Facebook is involved in this one again and it kind of follows on from my last Facebook based rant, but it's not about the same dickhead person, before you ask.

Now, I'm no psychologist, But all I can decipher from the profile I'm looking at right now, is that this person is incredibly insecure about who they actually are, and as a result, they feel the need to 'bend' the truth about their personality.

The basis of their profile is basically "I'm pure independent and no one can tell me what to do"

If I'd never met this person, then I'd probably think that that was true, carry on with my life, and probably find someone else to be annoyed by. But, because I have met this person, it annoys me to read several different things that I've seen no evidence of in the year and a half I've known them.

Apparently this person is "Feisty."

They seem to think that they're this insanely outspoken individual who people'll think twice about confronting, but I've never ever seen this. I've seen confrontations with the person, where, more often than not, the other person has come away as the 'Winner' so to speak.

To me, 'Feisty' is one of those little yappy dogs that are all up in yo' grill (well... yo' shin, but you get the idea) but can be sorted out easily by giving it a swift kick over a hedge or something.

The main thing that makes me and a few others (they know who they are) want to push this individual in front of a bus is the mention of being in a 'Long Distance Relationship.'

Honestly, I have no problem at all with people in Long Distance Relationships, in fact, I respect them a lot for having the ability to make it work despite rarely seeing each other in person. It's just when people actually mention it all the chuffin' time, That's when it really starts to tickle my arse hair.

To me, it seems that you're mentioning it in order to obtain some kind of badge of honour that says you have strength and commitment to keep the relationship going. Thing is... The person in question lives less than 30 miles away from their other half, You can drive that in less than hour, therefore it's not long distance!

Christ on a Bike.

To sum up... The person I'm talking about is insecure, has completely false information on their facebook profile, and annoys the absolute hell out of me... so much so, I thought I'd give them a mention in my blog.

If you're going to lie on your profile, at least make it cool... Something along the lines of 'I'm a Centaur' is fine by me... That'd be sick.

In a bit skids!

Facebook to (re)invent yourself?

If you've ever done this, I actually hate you... and the person you used to be for that matter.

This is something that I've noticed countless times recently whilst killing some time on the pet-peeve creating, procrastination machine known as Facebook.

Essentially, it's all just one big popularity contest, so I guess it makes sense to a lot of people to create this alter ego that absent minded people who 'LyK 2 GeT PiSsD EvRy NyT lol x' will appreciate. BUT, recently I saw one profile that actually made me angry, especially as I knew the person used to be the kind of person that I described earlier.

In the 4 years since I've seen this person, they've gone from being Chavvy McChaverson to the definition of Profundity "I raided Dot Cotton's wardrobe and came away with all this old stuff that i'll continue to wear because no one else is"

Their music list consists of artists that they think no one has heard of, or will admit to liking...because they're alternative like that.

Their book list consists of a few authors with Japanese sounding names.. In High School, I'm not even sure they had the ability to read English, let alone scribblings from the Orient.

Don't even get me started on their photo albums. Apparently this person doesn't want to advance into the digital age with everybody else. The photos are actually taken on a film camera, and scanned into an album with a pretentious name.

Now, this is fine by me if you're actually a photographer, you know what you're doing, and you take pictures of interesting things that I want to look at. It's not fine by me when I have to see analogue pictures of you being an idiot in various pretentious settings.

The mindset of this irritating person can be summed up by the following quote by that politician Sarah Palin: "Only dead fish go with the flow" (That's right, I did some research for this blog! Well, I knew the quote, just not who said it) Not only are they an idiot for thinking that they're awesome for not going with 'the flow,' they're also an idiot for ignoring a basic zoological fact.

Take the Atlantic Herring, for example. These fish swim in groups known as a School (or a shoal, depending on the size) in order to increase their chances of survival. Now, I may be wrong, but I'd say that this is a pretty good example of going with the flow, no? It's pretty rare that one fish decides to don their Grandma's clothes, listen to a band that 8 people have heard of and stick his middle fish finger up at Herring society.

In the countless hours that I've spent watching nature programmes such as Planet Earth, and in Particular Nature's Great Events, I've learnt that the Fish that do go against the flow tend to wind up getting their heads bitten off by hungry bears... A fate that I would quite like to see befall the individual that I'm talking about.

There's my analogy... I know which group I'd rather be part of.

Only thing is... I actually have respect for those fish that swim hundreds of miles in order to spawn... Whereas it's clear to see that I have no respect for a pretentious retard in 1930's clothing.

Over and Out!

Thought of the day

I absolutely don't understand why North Eastern people say words like 'Path' and 'Bath' the correct Northern way. But when it comes to saying words like 'Master' and 'Plaster,' they say the incorrect Southern way.

It honestly confuses the bejeezus out of me. It's also pretty annoying when they tell me that I'm not Northern, because they'll regularly display more Southern properties than me.

Barstards. (See what I did there?)

Hope you're all listening to Seventh Wonder still.

Over and Out.

Bloggin' for the Lulz.

'Sup skids?

I haven't really got an idea of what I want to write in this Blog, so it'll probably be just a run down of various things that I've thought about since last time, which to be honest, isn't a great deal.

Oh my Jesus, this brew is top notch, if I do say so myself.

I've started using Twitter a little bit more recently. I don't know what it is, but I like the idea that I'm a part (a tiny one, mind you... like a washer, or something) of something big, that has the potential to be even bigger.

I'm still not entirely sure of the whole purpose of it though. Like...what does anyone actually gain from it?

I reckon a part of it is to simply make life that little bit more enjoyable. When I read people's updates, it always seems to me, that they're doing something productive and fun, And by 'tweeting' about it, it might encourage their followers to do the same... Maybe... I don't know... That's my theory, feel free to do better.

A little while back, I wrote a Blog, In which, amongst other things, I talked about my lack of commitment to exercise and my general fitness levels. But now, nearly 5 months on, I'm pleased to announce that I go to the gym! A hell of a lot actually :)

I joined a little under 4 weeks ago, and I've been 3 times a week since then. I can really feel a difference in my day to day like, which is boss. It's nice to know that it's going to keep getting better and better, and that there's no risk of losing the will to go, because at this current moment in time, going down and pumping some iron is the highlight of my day. Seriously, I love it.

Ever heard of a band called Seventh Wonder?

No?

I thought not.

I discovered this band thanks to the genius of Youtube, when I found the song One Last Goodbye from the album Mercy Falls in my 'recommended for you' section. I figured I might as well give it a go, because the chances are, it'd be something along the lines of Progressive Metal/Rock.

The song itself, didn't actually display any of these elements, but I bloody loved it. It was a great little ballad with some amazing vocal melodies. I decided i'd Spotify it, to see if the rest of the album was as good as the one song I'd heard.

It's safe to say it was.

In all honesty, this is one of the best albums I've ever heard. The musicianship, lyrics, arrangements and production are all as close to perfect as they can possibly be.

It's a concept album about a Comatose car crash victim, who dreams he's in a place called Mercy Falls. In the meantime his son decides to donate Bone Marrow to hopefully bring his Dad out of the coma. It doesn't work for some reason, and the man's wife decides to turn off the life support machine. We then find out that the guy's son isn't actually his child, the result of being told this caused him to crash his car.

I implore you. Buy/Download/Spotify this album! You really, really won't regret it.

Anyway, I can't think of anything else to write. Oh yeah! The cut on my face has gone and my hand is nearly fully mended, which is nice. I'm still owed a pint by whoever reads this, which is nobody. So by that logic, I'm not owed a pint... safe.

In a bit!

Mackems.

First things first. This is a massive generalisation, and I don't mean to tar them all with the same brush. So if it comes across that way, Soz.

They're actually the most annoying little group of people you're ever likely to meet. .

The main shopping area in Scumderland is called 'The Bridges.' As you can see, it seems to be advertised by a Kings of Leon reject with a tea cosy on his head. I can only imagine that this is to entice young, hip and trendy teenager types to come and walk around the god forsaken place.

If they're anything like me (they're probably not) they'll immediately want to leave as soon as they enter. The population of the place consists of Kamikaze toddlers who seem to have some form of disorder where they suffer from permanent dizziness, Mums (or Mams) pushing about 17 babies in a pram the size of a tank, and Pensioners doing their weekly shop.

For me, as someone who likes to get from A to B using the most direct route possible, being in the Bridges actually makes me want to nail my balls to a tree and listen to those 2 little turdburglars from the X Factor on repeat, until my sanity ceases to be.

Mackems don't seem to possess peripheral vision. They'll stand there for a little bit, browsing at some stuff. Then just as I try to go past them, they'll take a step back and completely cut me off, usually followed by the deafening silence of them not apologising.

Being the lovely person that I am, I'm the one who'll actually move out of the way and let them get on with their lives. Even if I wasn't a nice person, I'd bloody have to. I'd be there for the rest of my life, otherwise. They'd probably just continue staring at me like I had 4 heads and onions for eyes, until one of us succumbed to the ravages of time.

I was in Tesco today, buying teabags and other such mind blowing items. When I was done, I paid at the self service thingymajig, which is usually a simple process, But wasn't today. Anyway, that's neither here or there

I accidentally forgot to pick up a fiver of the change I'd been given, So whilst I was packing my bag, and prepping myself for my re-entry into the Bridges, I heard a voice that sounded like a bag of iron filings go: "Oi, 'scuse me!"

I turned around to see a Tesco worker pointing towards the fiver, looking genuinely pissed off that I'd had the audacity to leave 5 Great British Pounds languishing in the change tray of the machine.

I went back to pick it up, and thanked the woman. She looked like I'd just punched her mum! (Or Mam) I'm pretty sure she snarled at me. I thought shop assistants (or whatever the hell her job is) where meant to be friendly?

My final complaint is about last Friday night, or about 2 O' clock Saturday morning if you want to be specific. I was walking home from watching a few films with the lovely residents of 3 Langton Close, when some lad came up to me and asked me to buy him some alcohol.

I thought it was a bit weird that he was asking me at this time of night, and that he needed someone to get it for him (He didn't look much younger than me, if at all), so I simply said (innocently enough) that nowhere was likely to be open.

So yeah, You'd expect him to say something along the lines of "Fair enough, I knew I was a stupid retard to ask someone at this time" But no... The little shit decided he'd quite like to give me a Kirkby Kiss.

It hurt quite a lot and made me be all "Wtf!?" and stuff. I Then realised that he was more than likely to carry on trying to hurt me, So naturally, I hit him, which made him run away... That was a nice surprise.

A few days on, and my hand still hurts and is all cut up from where I connected with his pathetic little face, and I have a stupid looking cut on my right cheek. But most of all, I came away with a renewed hatred of certain inhabitants of this Town... That's right! I called it a Town, not a city! Watch and learn kids.

Anyway... Buy me a pint to help me to recover from this ordeal?

In a bit.

It's been a while.

And to be honest, I'd completely forgotten about this thing. I'd like to say it's because i've been busy... but that would be a bit of a lie.

I've pretty much just been floating about since I've been back in Scumderland, trying to do things that make me feel like I'm being productive, and a lot of the time it works... until I stop, at which point I reflect on the day and come to the conclusion that I've done nothing with my day. I'm just an 'orrible Procrastinator.

I know I shouldn't moan, but the fact that I'm in uni for 10 hours a week doesn't help much either... It leaves me with a lot of free time do procrastinate... and I don't like it. Saying that, I probably like it more than being in Uni everyday for 6 hours.

The other day, I went down the Uni Bar to watch Sunderland vs. Liverpool, in which we where beaten by a Beach Ball... Oh well... such is life.

I would have got over the result quickly enough. But what I couldn't get over, was the Sunderland fans who where there too. Horrible little creatures.

At half time I went to get a pint, and whilst I was waiting, I heard one fat old man say to another fat old man: "Look at him" (I was wearing Liverpool shirt) "They should all be killed and thrown onto train tracks, like that Jamie Bulger kid."

Now, I'm all for a bit of inter fan banter, because obviously it's all part of the package of going to watch a match, whether it's on TV or actually at the ground.

But this was far from Banter. It was total disregard for human life... I wanted to throw up on him.

After that, one Mackem came over and pointed out that his mates across the room had been "Banned from the ground because of violence." so we should "Watch ourselves"

At that point I was ridiculously angry. There was absolutely no reason to say something like that. We'd done nothing except watched the match, and talked amongst ourselves.

It's not even as though they lost! They had no reason to want to try and knock some heads.

I'm not going to claim I'm rough as toast and hard as nails... but if they had have tried, I definitely wasn't going to stand by and let them.

At the end of the day, I just tell myself that they're bitter because they live in a rubbish city with no redeeming features to speak of, which is constantly and deservedly over shadowed by Newcastle: a genuinely nice place.

Anyway, there's my rant done and dusted. I'm off to listen to Muse's AWESOME new album, and to get this piece of bacon out from between my teeth.

Commitment.

I lack it...

Since Uni finished for the year, I'm becoming ever increasingly aware that my fitness levels are nowhere near as good as they used to be, and it does my head in.

I used to be really fit back in the day, when I used to swim for Ormskirk Otters. But obviously I don't anymore.

Towards the middle of 2nd year college, I used to run about 5 miles every other day. It was great, because obviously, I felt good physically. But it was also nice to just stick an album on, and run without having to worry about anything (apart from avoiding potential day ruining encounters with cars) Endorphins n all that good stuff would flow through the veins, and everything would be right in the little world that I was inhabiting for 45 minutes or so.

So basically, in an attempt to prevent myself turning into a human block of lard, I decided I would recreate the glory days when I could walk up the stairs without requiring a mahoooosive canister of oxygen.

Day One: Went for a run, did about 2.5 Miles... That's ok though, I didn't expect to be able to get straight back into it after such a long time out. I could just increase the mileage gradually over the weeks. Right?

Wrong.

I just stopped, and I don't know why... The run I did was really nice. I felt comfortable the whole time, the 7am sun was cracking the proverbial flags and I had some beltin' choons in my ears.

I came to the conclusion that I'm just a lazy waste of skin... And as of tomorrow at 7am, I'm going change it.

Honest...

How's that for an anti climactical end to my little fitness story? I'm actually a bit disappointed myself, because I spend ages thinking of things to write, then when I read it back, it's about as unimpressive as Sunderland's 'city' centre. (Apologies to any Mackems reading this... But, your hugely over glorified town is awful)

I subscribed to the Youtube account of someone called Kyle Landry the other day, after I stumbled upon his cover of The Beatles' Across the Universe, And really enjoyed it. However it wasn't until I saw his original composition 'The Separation' that I decided to subscribe.

I really love the whole Youtube 'celebrity' thing. This guy is the same age as me, but thousands of people know who he is, and look forward to his updates and hearing his music.

I think it's really cool, and would love to be in the same position as one of these people one day.

My video's have like 200 views each, despite one or 2 of them having some fairly good content in them (mainly my animations) I actually just cannot fathom how word of mouth has made this go so (deservedly) popular. It's freakin' insane yo.

Anyways, I'm done. My neck hurts and I need to sleep in order to get up in time to begin my fitness regime.

Wish me luck.

Peace out.

Thunderstorms 2.

God obviously reads my blog, because we had an epic one last night. My house was literally shaking, and the thunder was so loud at points I was actually a little bit worried, and a cheeky bit of pooh escaped.

(Obviously not really)

There was hardly any gap between the light and the noise.

It was actually boss.

More of the same tonight big man?

Thunderstorms

I'm not even joking, if there isn't one soon, I'm going to be severely displeased.

There's been a 10 instances since I've been back from Sunderland, where I've said to myself, or someone I've been with "Those look like thunder clouds... Awesome"

Then it only goes and bloody clears up doesn't it!?

There's something about Thunderstorms that makes me smile. It could be because I remember as a mini Simon looking out the window, and trying to gauge how far away the 'epicentre' was by counting the time between the flash of lightning and the rumble of thunder.

On the other hand it could just be because I enjoy watching it absolutely bucket down, but the fact that there's a hell of a lot of electricity and noise makes it all the more exciting.

I've heard that in Florida at about this time of year, they get at least one a day, without fail.

This makes me jealous.

In other news: Michael Jackson died yesterday.

I'm not as big a fan as some people may be. Thriller and Off the Wall are kick ass albums, but other than that, I don't really know much more of his stuff.

Combine this with the fact that I don't particularly like the guy, based on what the media's had to say and you'd think i'd be glad to see the back of him.

You'd be wrong though. I feel weird today, like, a little bit empty. It's impossible for me to shake this feeling that the world has lost the greatest entertainer it'll ever see.

The first thing my Mum said to me this morning was "Have you heard the news?" Obviously, I knew what she was talking about, despite the fact that we'd never listened to his music together, or spoken to each other about him, it was like, for that first minute or so that we communicated today, that was the only thing that mattered.

Jacko's one of those people who had been around your whole life. Whether old or young, EVERYONE knew who he was. These people just aren't meant to die, they're meant to live forever. But when they do, it hits you like a tonne of bricks.

It's weird, I can't imagine a world without him, but if you'd asked me on Sunday, I would probably claim that I couldn't care less.

Funny really, isn't it?

Anyway, Love him or hate him, the guy was a legend, he'll be sadly missed.

R.I.P Jacko.

_________________________________________________________

Ar ey, it's all gone a bit serious now =/

I've been back in the good ol' North West for nearly a month now, and already, I've done so much more than I thought I would. I'm glad to say that the amount of time I've spent out of the house doing enlightening and rewarding activites, greatly outweighs the time i've spent being a sad act refreshing facebook.

I've taken part in a (so far) very succesful 7 a side league with my team 'Channel 4 News Team' winning both games 2-1. Skinning Left Backs all over the show, but, more humourously Skinning my hands even more by falling off the pitch, earning my place in the team's history books as the biggest tit to don the red of the news team.

I've done a 25 mile bike ride... That was knackering and brought on a 2 day dose of scrot rot, but i'm all good now, I felt a lot healthier as a result of it, even if it was only for a day or so afterwards.

Despite calling it my city for 19 years, I've been a tourist in Liverpool for a day, and even took a cheeky ferry trip to Seacombe. That was ace too, Despite it being an absolute dive.

Nosebleeds on Mathew Street aren't that good really though, I don't recommend it. I don't really know why that happened. Maybe it was the pint at 2 in the afternoon that did it... Who knows?

Anyway, I'm struggling to be funny, and I'm running out of things to say. So...

Bye.

Black Clouds and Silver Linings

Dream Theater's new album came out yesterday, so i've spent most of my free time digesting it. At the moment, I feel a little bit ill, so instead of going outside and topping up my tan, I'm going to do a quick song by song review of the album.

A Nightmare to Remember - This is probably gonna be a good one live, it's got a killer heavy riff to begin with, combined some awesome drumming. The lyrics are about a car crash or something, a bit amateurish considering how long they've been at it, but they're not bad.

Then for the middle section, they go all 'Raise the Knife' on yo' ass. It's a great little part, very mellow, with really nice vocal melodies and harmonies. It only last 2 minutes or so of the 14 minute song, but it's a nice change of pace.

I'll give this one a 7/10.

A Rite of Passage - Probably the most boring Dream Theater song ever. The single edit's good, the album version isn't. It's far too long and samey. 4.5 /10

Wither - Boybands take note. This is how to write a ballad. Pretty much everything in this song is perfect to me. Jordan Rudess' use of orchestral patches is very tasteful, and they serve the song really well.

Petrucci's solo is great, very Brian May-esque. James LaBrie is brilliant in the vocal department. 10/10 fo' shizzle.

The Shattered Fortress - Portnoy wraps up his 12 step, Alcoholics Anonymous in this 'mash up' of sorts. I feel a bit a cheated out of a song with this one, because essentially, it's just riffs and themes from the previous 4 songs from the saga. Despite this, it's grown on me pretty quickly, and seems to keep my attention longer than say 'This Dying Soul' and definitely 'Repentance'

This one can have 7/10.

The Best of Times - This one's Portnoy's tribute to his late father. It's very Rush-esque, and I like it quite a lot. Although, despite the personal subject, you'd think MP would have worked a bit harder on the lyrics. Sure, they do the job, but when you look at 'A Change of Seasons' (also about the death of a parent) it makes you wonder why he couldn't have written the way he has done in the past.

The final guitar solo makes the song for me, and should I ever need reminding why John Petrucci is my favourite guitarist, I'll stick this song on.

8/10

The Count of Tuscany - Ok, first thing's first; the lyrics are awful.

Musically though, the first 3 and a half minutes or so, are absolutely awesome, there's some really nice work on the keys by Rudess, creating a somewhat dreamy atmosphere. After 5 minutes-ish, the vocals come in, over a heavy riff, which remains the main theme for the song.

The last 10 minutes is where the song really shines for me. There's a nice ambient section where Petrucci makes good use of volume swells over some atmospheric sounds, courtesy of Rudess.

The song's finale is amazing. A simple, but effective chord sequence, followed by a tasty solo gives me goosebumps everytime. A perfect ending to a great album.

9/10.

Overall, I'ma give the album 8/10. I wasn't a huge fan to begin with, but it's definitely grown on me, and I can safely say it's one of their best of the decade.

8/10 Yo!

Hi.

So yeah, if you're looking at this, you'll probably have guessed that I've joined this hip and trendy blogging website where all the cool, profound types hang out when facebook isn't giving them any notifications to inform them of new booze items being unlocked.

Anyway, this is probably just going to be somewhere that I can write random thoughts, questions and general gear grindery stuff. Don't expect anything overly articulate or educated to bounce off the page at you. But then again, don't expect "Lol, I WnT owt b4, I gt smasht," because let's face it, a carrot could do better than that.

Well there's my introduction, now onto a musing I had last Tuesday whilst waiting for a ferry to take me across the Mersey.

What do animals do all day?

Seriously, with humans there seems to have a purpose. Just look at my Mum for example. On Thursdays and Fridays when she's not in work, she'll (probably) think to herself "I'll do these things today" Sometimes she'll go and do the weekly shop. Other times she'll go to the gym, or tidy the house etc etc.

Do animals think in the same way?

Does Harry the pigeon wake up in the morning and go "Right, I need to fly over there for a bit, then when I've done that, I'll probably eat some stuff off the floor and pooh on a toddler... It'll be boss." Or does he literally just fly around all day with no purpose? Does he have mates that he'll go and see for a cheeky game of Fifa? (Which, to be fair would be difficult with only 3 toes)

It properly boggles my mind.

I have no idea how to wrap this up now, So, I'll just inform everybody that in the rowing that apparently happened today, the Czech pair managed 38 Strokes in one minute, however, the strokes where a bit out of time, so they where wonky.

This tickled me and my childish, innuendo fuelled mind.

Over and Out.