Thoughts from the David Goldman building.

Seriously, whoever designed this building needs an absolute slap. I bet that Sunderland Uni approached a mackem tramp chosen at random, handed him a Gregg's Steak Bake and a Pencil and asked him to design the most ridiculous building imaginable. The tramp probably accepted the challenge and set about drawing. After that he probably offered to design the Uni's webspace for them, and the Uni probably accepted... It really is Piss Poor.

The place is a Bat's worst nightmare. It has no parallel lines, so echoes bounce round for about a year before they finally get back to where they came from It's ridiculous, every wall sort of heads inwards, causing some kind of horrible bottleneck designed to trap students whilst they desperately try to get to their lectures. It honestly looks like it's been designed using one of those bendy rulers and a Spirograph (Don't even pretend you don't remember those beasty things)

Some of the classroom walls aren't even finished, they reach about three quarters of the way up the room, and then stop. So, should you be unlucky enough to have a lesson in them, you can hear everything that's going on in the 'Library' section, which you'd think would be pretty quiet, but it's not. The whole place has one of those Swimming bath-esque echoes, You know the type. It's like a constant wall of faint noise, but every now and then someone's voice will cut through then disappear as quickly as it arrived. You half expect to hear the sound of someone diving in, or the sound of a lifeguard or something... It's very weird. I kid you not, sometimes I have to double check that i'm wearing clothes and that I haven't just turned up wearing some speedos... Ok... That's not true.

Anyway, I'm just going to say that The David Goldman Building is a personification of the people of Sunderland: Warm, Funny and Very Quirky... Wait... that's not true either... Scratch that, I'll change it to: Funny Looking, Inexplicable and Very Unpleasant.

Right then, that's my Obligatory crack at Sunderland out of the way... Next up... Certain people, whose names I won't mention because I'm scared of confrontation in the real world.

Facebook is involved in this one again and it kind of follows on from my last Facebook based rant, but it's not about the same dickhead person, before you ask.

Now, I'm no psychologist, But all I can decipher from the profile I'm looking at right now, is that this person is incredibly insecure about who they actually are, and as a result, they feel the need to 'bend' the truth about their personality.

The basis of their profile is basically "I'm pure independent and no one can tell me what to do"

If I'd never met this person, then I'd probably think that that was true, carry on with my life, and probably find someone else to be annoyed by. But, because I have met this person, it annoys me to read several different things that I've seen no evidence of in the year and a half I've known them.

Apparently this person is "Feisty."

They seem to think that they're this insanely outspoken individual who people'll think twice about confronting, but I've never ever seen this. I've seen confrontations with the person, where, more often than not, the other person has come away as the 'Winner' so to speak.

To me, 'Feisty' is one of those little yappy dogs that are all up in yo' grill (well... yo' shin, but you get the idea) but can be sorted out easily by giving it a swift kick over a hedge or something.

The main thing that makes me and a few others (they know who they are) want to push this individual in front of a bus is the mention of being in a 'Long Distance Relationship.'

Honestly, I have no problem at all with people in Long Distance Relationships, in fact, I respect them a lot for having the ability to make it work despite rarely seeing each other in person. It's just when people actually mention it all the chuffin' time, That's when it really starts to tickle my arse hair.

To me, it seems that you're mentioning it in order to obtain some kind of badge of honour that says you have strength and commitment to keep the relationship going. Thing is... The person in question lives less than 30 miles away from their other half, You can drive that in less than hour, therefore it's not long distance!

Christ on a Bike.

To sum up... The person I'm talking about is insecure, has completely false information on their facebook profile, and annoys the absolute hell out of me... so much so, I thought I'd give them a mention in my blog.

If you're going to lie on your profile, at least make it cool... Something along the lines of 'I'm a Centaur' is fine by me... That'd be sick.

In a bit skids!

Facebook to (re)invent yourself?

If you've ever done this, I actually hate you... and the person you used to be for that matter.

This is something that I've noticed countless times recently whilst killing some time on the pet-peeve creating, procrastination machine known as Facebook.

Essentially, it's all just one big popularity contest, so I guess it makes sense to a lot of people to create this alter ego that absent minded people who 'LyK 2 GeT PiSsD EvRy NyT lol x' will appreciate. BUT, recently I saw one profile that actually made me angry, especially as I knew the person used to be the kind of person that I described earlier.

In the 4 years since I've seen this person, they've gone from being Chavvy McChaverson to the definition of Profundity "I raided Dot Cotton's wardrobe and came away with all this old stuff that i'll continue to wear because no one else is"

Their music list consists of artists that they think no one has heard of, or will admit to liking...because they're alternative like that.

Their book list consists of a few authors with Japanese sounding names.. In High School, I'm not even sure they had the ability to read English, let alone scribblings from the Orient.

Don't even get me started on their photo albums. Apparently this person doesn't want to advance into the digital age with everybody else. The photos are actually taken on a film camera, and scanned into an album with a pretentious name.

Now, this is fine by me if you're actually a photographer, you know what you're doing, and you take pictures of interesting things that I want to look at. It's not fine by me when I have to see analogue pictures of you being an idiot in various pretentious settings.

The mindset of this irritating person can be summed up by the following quote by that politician Sarah Palin: "Only dead fish go with the flow" (That's right, I did some research for this blog! Well, I knew the quote, just not who said it) Not only are they an idiot for thinking that they're awesome for not going with 'the flow,' they're also an idiot for ignoring a basic zoological fact.

Take the Atlantic Herring, for example. These fish swim in groups known as a School (or a shoal, depending on the size) in order to increase their chances of survival. Now, I may be wrong, but I'd say that this is a pretty good example of going with the flow, no? It's pretty rare that one fish decides to don their Grandma's clothes, listen to a band that 8 people have heard of and stick his middle fish finger up at Herring society.

In the countless hours that I've spent watching nature programmes such as Planet Earth, and in Particular Nature's Great Events, I've learnt that the Fish that do go against the flow tend to wind up getting their heads bitten off by hungry bears... A fate that I would quite like to see befall the individual that I'm talking about.

There's my analogy... I know which group I'd rather be part of.

Only thing is... I actually have respect for those fish that swim hundreds of miles in order to spawn... Whereas it's clear to see that I have no respect for a pretentious retard in 1930's clothing.

Over and Out!

Thought of the day

I absolutely don't understand why North Eastern people say words like 'Path' and 'Bath' the correct Northern way. But when it comes to saying words like 'Master' and 'Plaster,' they say the incorrect Southern way.

It honestly confuses the bejeezus out of me. It's also pretty annoying when they tell me that I'm not Northern, because they'll regularly display more Southern properties than me.

Barstards. (See what I did there?)

Hope you're all listening to Seventh Wonder still.

Over and Out.

Bloggin' for the Lulz.

'Sup skids?

I haven't really got an idea of what I want to write in this Blog, so it'll probably be just a run down of various things that I've thought about since last time, which to be honest, isn't a great deal.

Oh my Jesus, this brew is top notch, if I do say so myself.

I've started using Twitter a little bit more recently. I don't know what it is, but I like the idea that I'm a part (a tiny one, mind you... like a washer, or something) of something big, that has the potential to be even bigger.

I'm still not entirely sure of the whole purpose of it though. Like...what does anyone actually gain from it?

I reckon a part of it is to simply make life that little bit more enjoyable. When I read people's updates, it always seems to me, that they're doing something productive and fun, And by 'tweeting' about it, it might encourage their followers to do the same... Maybe... I don't know... That's my theory, feel free to do better.

A little while back, I wrote a Blog, In which, amongst other things, I talked about my lack of commitment to exercise and my general fitness levels. But now, nearly 5 months on, I'm pleased to announce that I go to the gym! A hell of a lot actually :)

I joined a little under 4 weeks ago, and I've been 3 times a week since then. I can really feel a difference in my day to day like, which is boss. It's nice to know that it's going to keep getting better and better, and that there's no risk of losing the will to go, because at this current moment in time, going down and pumping some iron is the highlight of my day. Seriously, I love it.

Ever heard of a band called Seventh Wonder?

No?

I thought not.

I discovered this band thanks to the genius of Youtube, when I found the song One Last Goodbye from the album Mercy Falls in my 'recommended for you' section. I figured I might as well give it a go, because the chances are, it'd be something along the lines of Progressive Metal/Rock.

The song itself, didn't actually display any of these elements, but I bloody loved it. It was a great little ballad with some amazing vocal melodies. I decided i'd Spotify it, to see if the rest of the album was as good as the one song I'd heard.

It's safe to say it was.

In all honesty, this is one of the best albums I've ever heard. The musicianship, lyrics, arrangements and production are all as close to perfect as they can possibly be.

It's a concept album about a Comatose car crash victim, who dreams he's in a place called Mercy Falls. In the meantime his son decides to donate Bone Marrow to hopefully bring his Dad out of the coma. It doesn't work for some reason, and the man's wife decides to turn off the life support machine. We then find out that the guy's son isn't actually his child, the result of being told this caused him to crash his car.

I implore you. Buy/Download/Spotify this album! You really, really won't regret it.

Anyway, I can't think of anything else to write. Oh yeah! The cut on my face has gone and my hand is nearly fully mended, which is nice. I'm still owed a pint by whoever reads this, which is nobody. So by that logic, I'm not owed a pint... safe.

In a bit!