Blah blah blah... Title.

I have every right to moan in this blog. It's been an absolute shocker of a week, it's just been one thing after another. Physically I'm fine apart from two mazzy blisters on my foot... I'm just well and truly fed up of things.

The main 'thing' being the fact that my bastarding laptop only went and got itself nicked didn't it.

Are you sitting comfortably? Right, I'll begin, so shut up and listen.

Rewind back to last Wednesday, the 24th of February. I'd been in Uni for the whole day doing the various remedial tasks I'd been set as part of my thrilling course. By the time I was done, I really needed to let off some steam, so I went to the Gym.

After I'd transformed myself into Lou Ferrigno (The fella who played the Hulk) I returned home with the intention of eating my body weight in Fish Fingers and refreshing facebook 300 times per minute.

My chances of performing the latter were decreased dramatically when I discovered that my little rectangle of fold-out joy wasn't in its usual spec next to my bed, innocently charging away.

Some Mackem bellends have somehow literally walked into my house, then into my room, taken what they thought was the most expensive item, then walked out.

Now, My laptop wasn't what it used to be; Half of the keys were gimpy and falling off, the ventilation system had a metric tonne of dust stuck in it and the brand new charger I bought for it (after the old one broke) only worked when it was at a certain angle. In a way, the thieves have done me a favour, because I get a brand spanking new laptop, and they'll probably get a fiver for it, if that.

I wouldn't be surprised to come home one day to find that they've broken back in and given it back with a full written apology on a post-it note stuck to the lid.

Obviously that'll never happen though, everybody knows Mackems can't write. LOL AM I RITE?

The thing that's pissed me off about the whole situation is the fact that the oppurtunist bastards had obviously seen someone leave the front door of the house slighty ajar and decided to make their move. What gives them the right to do that? Nothing does.

Scum. Sub human scum.

The amount of crime I've been somehow linked with in the last year or so is unreal.

• At the end of last Summer, I witnessed an armed robbery.
• At the start of second year Uni, I got nutted.
• My housemates Girlfriend's car got broken into.
• My Good friend 'The Slaternator's' car got broken into, And
• My Laptop got nicked.

As a result of all this, I'm honestly considering joining the Police after I'm done with Uni. Instead of just getting annoyed at the nobheads who commit the crimes, I can realistically do something about them.

The fact that I'm doing a degree in Media isn't an issue for me, I'll be able to quote Stanley Cohen at the Crims whilst I send them down. And if Policing doesn't work out, I can always pursue a Media based career.

Anyway... If this is the last blog I ever write, it's because I've undoubtedly topped myself because of the psychological trauma that 'The Victim Support Helpline' (No idea how they got my number, or why they felt the need to ring at 8 in the morning) automatically assume I'm suffering because of the 'Victim's personal statement' that was forced kicking and screaming from my mouth by PC Plod of Northumbria Police.

Plod: "Go on mate. You must feel a little bit vulnerable, victimised, worried?"
Me: "Honestly, I'm not bothered"
Plod: "Just say something I can write down"
Me: "Erm..."
Plod: "Go on..."
Me: "I feel dead vulnerable and stuff... Honest... Can I go the cinema now?"


Right then, I think that's everything that happened, covered in a moderately interesting manner...

In a bit.